www.safflare.com

I decided to give online dating another shot. There were a few potential candidates but the percentage system wasn't high enough except for this one woman. She's 26, Japanese, and loves to eat. Her profile didn't say much but that's a good thing. Leaves the mystery open for questioning. Sent her a message at first. Few days later, caught her online to chat so I seized the moment before she logged off and called the cops. Chemistry exploded quickly and rather well. Moved on to chatting through Gmail, then texting, and video chatting throughout the month of dating. Before I popped the question of asking her to meet for the first time, I was definitely hesitant because I wasn't working and lived with my folks. Quite humiliating to me. Also, I have had an impressive line of bad luck attracting rebounders over the years. "Why is that?" Anyway, I met Lisa on April 18 at a Starbucks in Pasadena. I was waiting inside pretending to play with my phone while I was watching her walk in. She smiled widely when we shook hands. "Please tell me she's a keeper." She was getting over a minor sore throat and couldn't go rock climbing the other day. I bought us some peppermint hot tea and we talked for like 4 hours. It was a funny day. We actually drove to another Starbucks just to continue talking. There was a moment when I looked at the time and it read 5:30PM. Five minutes later, it turned to 7:30PM. We were both surprised that we talked that long, that fast. Never experienced that before. After our goodbye, I tried to compose myself because of my cursed past. I was excited but tried to keep level-headed. I think it worked. We continued dating on a regular basis even though my anxiety was telling me "this could all end, this could all end...abruptly, quickly." Friends encouraged me not to think that way and to just enjoy the moments and stop worrying about the negative ideas. One of the highlights was when I accidentally met her parents a bit early. I showed up to her house a little early but I had to use the bathroom. Desperately. So I asked her if I could come in. I had no idea her parents were home because I only saw her car outside and the house seemed really dark. It was really pleasant though, they were generous, and Lisa was just smiling the whole time because I was in the spotlight. That was also the first time we kissed. Pretty much made it clear that we're in the dating zone which was nice. Man, we saw a lot of movies together. Anyway, I'm blogging about her because I saw a light. Down on my luck and life, I saw a light who actually liked me as much as I liked her. Gotta admit, it felt pretty good when I was online, she logs on, and she says "Hi" first. It's rare. Discovered so many common interests with each other. She has a great laugh. I loved making her laugh. On top of that, a very warm and delightful smile. I miss seeing her tilt her head when she laughs closing her eyes and showing off her white teeth. By the way, never met someone who can drink tons of coffee and wine. Holy moly. During all those weeks of getting to know each other, it was just the tip of the iceberg. Towards the end of it, I was convinced maybe this could be an official relationship since I felt we were both ready. If so, I'd be smiling when I wake up and smiling before I fall asleep. There was a pivotal moment when I met up with Lisa and her 3 high school friends: Sam, Gloria, and Tommy. Couple days before that, Lisa told me she told her friends about me-- in a positive way. So I thought "oh, ok, that's good news." But that night, hanging out with them, I felt like a ghost. It was clearly expected. They were drinking and reminiscing about their glorious high school years. I tried my best to engage and be humorous. Didn't work. They barely spoke or asked me any questions. I think Lisa and I only looked each other maybe 3 times. I kissed her goodnight when she dropped me off-- that felt ominous too. Maybe I should've been more forceful with engaging their group discussions or maybe I was a lamb to be tested and graded by her friends. That night was the last time I saw her for 2 weeks. So yeah, things trickled down after that. She wanted to take more trips with friends and find her own apt in Irvine. Last thing I wanted to do is appear like a clingy boyfriend so I let it be. I left her alone for 2 weeks. Barely even texted her. I spent more time going out with friends and seeking advice. They were all very encouraging but the whole time I kept thinking "I hope I'm wrong about this." When I had Korean BBQ with Kandis, Cameron, and Brian, Brian said something interesting: "If she can make time for her friends, she can make time for you." Totally true IF the girl is into you and how much. In my case, I guess it wasn't much but it was mostly due to bad timing. Strange how it all led up to that point where I thought we should discuss about becoming official and her going on her own life and living it. By the end up the 2 weeks, I felt pretty convinced without evidence and maybe I should move on, but I need closure. I was at a photo shoot when Jen discreetly took my phone and texted Lisa about meeting up and then deleted the outgoing message. I found out Jen did that a few weeks later. Lisa texted back asking me to meet her at Urth Cafe. So I did and we talked it out no problem. It was cordial, casual, and quick. In my mind, I was like "I hate being right all the time." Hey, at least she wasn't rebounding. We were laughing about my 'ghost' message I sent her. I was mystified. I hugged her that day in the parking lot. Don't think I'll see her again. We're friendly for sure. I don't think we can be friends. I mean what is that? Lunch, dinner, movies? Same damn thing but bizarre. Nevertheless, we were just dating. Nothing really was lost. I'm really happy I met her but I guess maybe it wasn't to be. Just didn't work out with our life schedules. I want her to be happy now.

So the multi-talented, wealthy, eccentric, and beloved Nicolas Cage got arrested. Surprised? Not really. It was a matter of time. He's had a really good long run staying out of the press until 2 years ago when his manager screwed him financially. Now he's gotten himself in deep trouble in New Orleans for portraying himself as a drunk, violent husband. Anything's possible. But why should I sympathize with his wife? I don't know what they argued about. For all we know, she could be the crazy one. She is Korean after all and very, very trapped and wealthy. Taken care of, check.

Tax season usually gets the better of me because it's the season to be screwed, screwed on, and up. Bills pile up like crazy along with taking care of your car with expensive parts and labor. The DMV is also obsessed with forcing us to register our vehicles annually with their poor customer service. So many aliens in this town. My iMac at work is slowing down. I used to get the color wheel of death during editing and now it's applying to everything else. Even browsing the internet. These guitar videos are still fun to shoot and edit but they are tremendously sucking up time and I'm afraid the quality I want to insert will drop because of the incredible demand. I thought quality is more crucial than quantity. Am I crazy?