Am I Cursed?

I've been asking myself for a couple years now: Why can't I catch a break? Why are such easy goals so terrible for me?
I don't know what's going on. I can't have something special, let alone have it and hold onto it for a decent amount of time. I'm getting too old to be someone's assistant or slave too. I want support and support someone back, motivate, share, trust, and care for. Making motion pictures is all I can dream about too. I may not gain it and I have to realize that that's a strong possibility. It's the number one goal. We all have them. But right now, it's the simplistic goals that I can't have-- as if I don't deserve it. Like it's a message from above to me, but everyone else seems to be good at it. My eye's twitching. Good night.